13 December, 2012

Epic Adventures...

This blog is not going to make much sense to anyone but Jessica. And you know what? That's ok. At least some of you might get a laugh out of it.

Jess and I went out for supper to Pita Pit. Let me put it this way, we got there at about 1900... we did not leave until 2145 and that was only because we had to. I'm going to do a sorta listy thingie ma bobber... because that'll make it "easier" and also, these are in no real order of how they went tonight. Ayup, so here goes. 

  • Topic one that we some how managed to get on. Guys. Yep, common topic with us. First off you should know that any guy either of us dates has to be able to handle the other. So that being said, we came up with this "You've pissed me off, go see Rachael/ Jessica. She already knows you've upset me"... "But..".... "No buts, just go see Rachael/ Jessica. She'll tell you what to do" 
  • On from that we decided that said significant other should stock up on pillows, come in very handy for a makeshift padded room. And they may want to invest in a "hug-me-jacket".. aka straitjacket. My mind went off the deep end with that. "Hmm, a straitjacket could come in handy. It limits movement... that could be fun." << Insert Jess blushing here>> 
  • Don't take Jess' colours (crayons) ... let me repeat that. DON'T take Jess' colours! Unless you want to be promptly spaz attacked, it's best to just back out the room when she's with her colours. Taking her colours will result in mass beatings and sadness. And no one likes a sad panda. 
  • Speaking of colours, at one point I told Jess that if anyone took her colours I'd replace them with glitter paint. That prompted "Yay! Glitter paint!".... But because apparently, Jess is special and eats her colours, she'd also eat the paints. So according to Martika, it'd look like "She blew Edward Cullen"... or to be more tactical about it, we'll name the colour "she BLUE Edward Cullen". Yep. Jess then tried to argue that the paint was not for eating, it was for finger painting on the walls. "So, Jess... instead of blowing Edward Cullen... you gave him a handjob?" << Insert more of Jess blushing here>>
  • I am apparently a red crayon... which really means I'm a green crayon , like a tree... wait, no scratch that... I'm the purple one. o.o 
  • Peacocks >>> Hong Kong >>> Cock >>> Slim Jam >>> Oh, fun sex position >>> Cock Starved 
  • Please don't ask what the previous bullet meant, I've got no real answer for ya. 
  • "Jess, can I do something?" *gets up and moves closer to her*... "I promise I won't lick you" .... *gets denied and goes back to seat on opposite side of table as Jess tries to grab my hands* ... "No! Don't touch me... I don't trust you!" << Insert scared people here >>
  • Pirates >>> Plundering >>> Booty >>> Rechargeable batteries >>> "Toys" ;) >>> Sex >>> Swing set >>>  Cock Starved
  • Again as stated before, please don't ask. 
  • *Grumbles and runs hand down Jess' face* ... MRSA!!!
  • Shopping in Kroger >>> Unattended children >>> All have been given to the Goblin King until further notice
  • I love MY green juice.... 
  • I played SongPop in public... that was smart, seeing as I sing along with it, and dance too. Ayup. Pretty sure I scarred some people for life.
  • And lastly, after licking Jess' cheek, she decides to rub her face on my chest to "get rid of the saliva"....I   just looked at her at laughed when she called it payback. "You call that payback? You just motorboated me.... in public. That's awesome!" We walk out of the store and as I'm taking a drink of my soda, Jess comments, "Well, I could have yelled MRSA as I did it!". She side-steps me as I spit my soda out onto the ground and Jess laughs, making the comment that it was good that she hadn't caught me mid-swallow.
And that was our adventure for the evening. I'm sure you'll here more of our fun when we go out again this coming Tuesday to watch The Hobbit, go to second breakfast and of course, the highlight of the trip... Cirilla's! Yay adult stores!  Only going because Jess hasn't been there yet, have to rectify that. ^-^

Toodles! xxxx